7 Painful Realities You May Experience If You Don’t Do The Inner Healing Work After A Breakup...

Jul 5, 2023
5 min read

Updated: Dec 12, 2025

- By Michelle Therese

The inner healing work after a relationship breakup is extremely important. I just can’t stress that enough! The failure to do so can result in the most unbearable circumstances. Though for some the pain and grief after the breakdown of an intimate relationship is just too much to bear. The thought of sitting with their feelings and emotions is extremely uncomfortable. Many in this instance will resort to escapism. Whether that be soon after the breakup jumping into another connection, substance abuse, workaholism, compulsive exercising or partying, in hopes that they will numb the pain around the extreme feeling of loss of the past soulmate. These forms of escaping reality result in a failure to sit with oneself to do the inner work. All soulmate connections that enter our lives wether positive or negative come bestowing the opportunity for great healing and transformation. That’s why the inner work is so important to do. The healing work has the capability of moving us into positive new energy. If we skip this process we possibly miss the lessons we were meant to learn in the connection and carry with us unresolved feelings and emotions into the future. This creates spiritual baggage and therefore stunts our souls growth and evolution. Therefore leaving us unable to access new timelines. Did you do your inner work on your past soulmate connection? Let’s see, as I share with you 7 painful realities you may experience if you don’t do the inner healing work after a relationship breakup. If you find these experiences are playing out in your reality, and want to bring this cycle to a close, I have also included in this post an exercise to get you started on your inner work to clear the past energy.

7 Painful Realities You May Experience:

You may experience a sense of stuckness, an inability to move forward in life. Whether that be into positive new connections or life in general. When we connect with a soulmate intimately there are two components to the connection the physical and the energetic. When there is a decision made by one or both individuals to end the relationship both of these components of the connection need to be severed. Physically the connection has been brought to a close, as you no longer engage with one another at a physical level, but if you don’t go inside to do the inner work to clear the energetic side of the connection, that being unresolved feelings, emotions and do the unpacking of the lessons you should have learnt, this may result in a feeling of being stuck.
You may magnetise another soulmate in a different skin suit that vibrates at the same energy of your past partner to repeat the lessons of the past all over again. This happens because you didn’t go inside to clear the past energy, so you are still vibrating at that same frequency. This stagnant energy also blocks the potential of a higher vibrational love connection to come in. How frustrating!
On the flip side the opposite might happen, you may attract in a positive soulmate. However, if you have a suitcase of bullshit you still haven’t unpacked from the past, it is likely you will start projecting your past unhealed wounds onto your new love interest. This may result in the complete sabotage of the connection.
Your unresolved feelings, emotions or trauma may create blocks in your energetic body. This may then start to manifest as pain in the physical body. You may experience,

A heaviness in your energy levels.
Anxiety.
Depression.
Stress.
Trouble concentrating.
Irritability, crying outbursts, anger, rage, confusion around feelings and emotions.
Digestion issues.

You may feel a sense of constantly being reminded of the past soulmate. Which can be quite unsettling. This may happen through dreaming about them, nightmares, seeing their name everywhere or serendipitously running into them. This happens because the divine desperately wants you to heal. It’s your spiritual team at work and their way of saying ‘hey, look at this’. They are hoping they will prompt you to go inside and clean up any residual messiness.

You may avoid relationships all together out of fear :( Fear of being hurt again or repeating the past. But often, after a relationship ends and we take the time to do the inner work, we begin to see the connection from a higher perspective. By unpacking unresolved emotions and reflecting on the lessons the relationship brought us, we gain clarity about its deeper purpose. We start to understand why we were drawn to that person in the first place, how they were mirroring parts of ourselves that needed healing. In truth, it was never just about them or what they did to us, it was about our own growth and transformation. With this awareness, we come to accept why the connection didn't last. As we evolve, we move forward with a new sense of self, knowing that when we show up differently, we attract different experiences. Healing within helps up create healthier love next time.

You may find yourself holding on to unforgiveness. Which can keep you in a continuous cycle of feeling low vibrational emotions such as; bitterness, resentment, holding a grudge, anger and hatred. Staying in such negative energy only keeps us enslaved to the past with a heaviness in our hearts. When we take the time to heal after a relationship breakup, we are often able to find acceptance, stop blaming, claim our emotional freedom and ultimately reach a place of peace and forgiveness.

No one wants to experience any of the painful circumstances listed above that’s why it is imperative to do the inner healing work after a connection ends. If you are experiencing any of these frustrating occurrences above it may be time for some introspection. I have a little exercise to get you started on your journey to healing. Take out your journal and get your feelings and emotions out on paper. Answer these four following questions,

How am I feeling right now physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually around the loss of this relationship?
What were the positive and negative aspects of this past connection?
Within the duration of this relationship what did I learn about myself and how I engage in intimate connections?
Are there any recognisable patterns or behavioural traits that I need to work on before entering a new connection in the future? If you do recognise there are patterns playing out in your relationships, you may want to visit Part 2 of this question.
Part 2: Why do I have these patterns and behavioural traits? This would require working with your inner child as these patterns may be deeply rooted in your childhood. I highly suggest you seek out a therapist to do this work with you.